9 Ways to Instantly Calm Yourself
By Lee Ridenour
We all have felt anxiety before. No matter how confident and relaxed you are, you know what it’s like to be nervous before an interview, trembling before a speech, or cold and clammy over the pending results of your graded quiz.
The point of this article is to provide you with eight different ways to release this tension. There are more powerful ways in which you can relax (as we will provide in our products) however this article provides eight ways you can use anywhere. Hardly anyone will actually notice that you are using them. You will not have to sit in a meditation position on the floor, or chant mantras to relax yourself… so no worries.
Also, notice the title of this article is not “…Calm Yourself Down”. We don’t calm down. We calm up.
Calming yourself involves not detaching yourself from your environment, but integrating yourself with it while you mentally move inward to obtain steadiness. You should not feel tired or detached. You should simply become “in the zone”: Alert, focused and relaxed.
Chair Press-Up
This one’s great for if you are waiting to give a speech or if you are nervous in a group setting. Simply put your feet flat on the floor. Put your hands on the arms of your chair. If your chair doesn’t have arms, place them on the edges of the seat. Brace yourself. Now, take a deep breath, and push up with your arms and feet as you exhale. Lock your arms – let your torso hang from your locked arms for a moment while you finish exhaling… long and deep. Go limp, but remain locked in the up position. Now sit back down. You feel like a noodle, and everything is cool.
Breathing
Breathing is absolutely crucial to calming yourself. I recommend you do some in-depth research on Eastern styles of breathing, and how to breathe powerfully with your diaphragm. Breathe in strongly and slowly through your nose as you expand your diaphragm. Your stomach should rise, not your chest. Now, blow it out strongly and steadily through your mouth. Repeat this a few times. You can feel the tension leaving your body.
Spread Legs
This one may not seem like much, but it has serious subconscious value. When most people are relaxed (particularly us guys) we have a tendency to spread our legs slightly and take up more space. By consciously spreading your legs while sitting (or standing) you will take up more space, which is what we generally do when we are comfortable in a setting. Perform the action, and the feeling of comfort will follow.
Slouch Slightly
Yes, slouching is bad for your posture. Slouching for years will curve your spine. Slouching for a few minutes will not. This is another habit most people demonstrate when they are relaxed and comfortable: They slouch. So, next time you feel antsy about a situation, allow yourself to lean back your head and slouch slightly in your chair. Once again, the feeling will follow the action.
Power Hands
Powerful people are often calm, relaxed and comfortable in their actions. When they sit around a table, they often do one of two things with their hands: Steepling, or the hands-behind-the-head. To steeple, put your elbows on the table, and steeple your hands in front of your face – like the bad guy does in the movie when he’s going “M’yesss…. Muwahaha…. I can see it all coming together so perfectly…” Think of yourself as the bad guy when you steeple your hands. You know you are going to win. You steeple your hands as you turn over your master plan inside your head. Everything is falling into place so perfectly. Muwhaha. For more of a “corporate” power / relaxation effect, lean back in your chair and put your hands behind your head, lacing your fingers together. This is how bosses sit when they are talking to people who work for them. It has profound effects in making you feel more powerful and relaxed.
Anchoring
This is an incredible psychological tool we will cover in more depth in our products. Your subconscious mind anchors certain actions / stimuli with certain feelings and responses. Psychological anchors and triggers are used everywhere. It is the reason behind many strong emotional connections. If you had a song played at your wedding, hearing the song played at a later date may make you cry. The emotional event was your wedding, and you heard a song during it (the anchor). Thus, the song became tied to the feelings you felt during your wedding. Upon hearing the song again (the trigger) you feel the same feelings again.
Another example is if you became very ill once from a certain drink, you may become sick simply from smelling the drink in the future. The emotional event was becoming very ill, and the anchor was the drink. Therefore, smelling the drink in the future could make you sick very quickly. Anchors are used everywhere, in positive and negative emotions. To use them to calm yourself, develop a specific anchor every time you are calm. My anchor is to place my hand palm-down on my thigh. Every time I am relaxed, I do this, to reinforce the anchor. Then when I need to be calm, I simply fire the trigger (palm on the thigh) and my mind recreates the emotion tied to that anchor – which is relaxation. Pick an anchor you don’t use that much, such as touching your ear, or putting your hand on your knee. Do it whenever you are relaxed, and when you need to become relaxed, doing it will help to put you in that mental state.
Kill Internal Dialogue
There are many ways to do this, but here’s one good technique: If you are talking yourself into a worrisome state, or worrying while talking to someone during a conversation, do this immediately. Defocus your eyes, and open your peripheral vision. Look at two areas ahead of you, a few feet to each side. Picture your conscious thoughts in those areas. Now, draw your gaze up from both points at 45 degree angles until they meet in the high-center of your vision. Next bring the gaze straight down, so it is directly in front of you (a person’s face if you are talking to them). Now, picture your gaze coming straight back to your own head, as you return your consciousness to your own mind. Not only does it help increase focus, but the simple effort required to perform the exercise will often stop any distracting internal dialogue you are having at the time.
Picture Method
This method is perfect for when you can’t escape the people you’re with, but you need to calm down fast. Find a picture of something that calms you down (there’s plenty on the internet). This could be a picture of the ocean, a forest or a sunrise. For mine, I use a picture of a beautiful sunset in Ibiza. Print off the picture to a small piece of paper. Carry the picture with you wherever you go, in your wallet or purse. I carry mine in my wallet, and it helps me disguise it if I decide to pull it out to enter my “quiet place” when I’m with others. Conceal the picture however you see fit. When you are stressed out, take it out and envision yourself in the picture. Describe it in your mind. When I go to mine, I feel the breeze and sand on my skin. I feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I hear the waves and smell the crisp Mediterranean air. Make it as vivid as you can inside your mind. Spend a few minutes focusing on how it feels. After you are calm, come back to reality and put away your picture, knowing you can return to it if you need to calm down again. This method is truly a great way to break away from whatever is stressing you at the moment. In the movie Collateral, the cab driver uses the same method with a picture taped on his visor. Whenever he becomes stressed out, he simply “takes a vacation.”
Centering
If you feel a general anxiety of your whole body, such as being self-conscious of your hands, feet, or body position, this exercise can work wonders. Close your eyes. Take a few deep, long breaths: in through your nose and out through your mouth. Place your tongue on your front pallet, directly above the backside of your upper teeth- this is effective in stimulating cross-lobe integration (and relaxation) in the brain. Picture a point far in front of you. Project your thoughts there in your mind. Continue breathing, and keep your thoughts there, until you are fully relaxed and have forgotten about clammy hands, sweaty feet, or mismatched socks. Once you are relaxed, slowly bring the point in front of you closer as you return to a fully aware state.
These are obviously only temporary, physical methods for dealing with stress. Keep your eye on us as we come out with products to allow you to change your mind to keep yourself stress-free, all of the time!
In addition to stress-management, Self-Evolution focuses on improving your entire mind, body & life.
Pasted from <http://www.selfevolution.net/calm.htm>
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Maps of Europe
Legal status of cannabis in Europe
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Map of languages in Europe by linguistic groups
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Legal age to drink alcohol in Europe
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Map of languages in Europe by linguistic groups
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Legal age to drink alcohol in Europe
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Ages of sexual consent in Europe
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Smoking bans in Europe
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Ages of sexual consent in Europe
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Smoking bans in Europe
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Three Character Traits that Lead to Debt
Three Character Traits that Lead to Debt
Posted By Ron On January 18, 2008 @ 1:00 am In Debt, Life, Money, Online Degrees, Personal Development 7 Comments
Getting into debt never happens by accident. Everyone has their own reasons, but those reasons are usually just surface symptoms of a deeper character trait. The good news is that you CAN change these character traits. I did.
Ignorance
One trait that lead me into debt was the ignorance of how debt works, and how it works against me. I was the willing victims of credit card issuers. Though I never went into debt with small finance companies or payday loan sharks, I was constantly looking to refinance my home to “pull out the equity.” I didn’t have a good grasp of how my credit was slowly destroyed and how I really wasn’t getting ahead. I believed that by pulling out my home’s equity, I was putting that money to work for me now, even though I was spending it irresponsibly.
I was ignorant on how to resist the marketing efforts of retailers and manufacturers. In college, I was the first to sign up to get a credit card just for the “free” T-shirt. I had been programmed by the marketing media to constantly think I needed to have to have the latest and greatest gizmo, gadget, or toy. I was told, and subsequently believed, that student loans were my only option to get me through school. You can read about my college experience [1] here.
I was ignorant about [2] how to develop the self discipline to resist the desire to constantly acquire stuff. I thought having a new car made me look cool and successful. I used to love getting the letter from my credit card issuer with a raised credit limit. That meant I could get more stuff!
What’s the solution? Education. Learn about how money and personal finance works. Read. Listen. Ask questions. Seek advice. Follow it.
Poor Planning
Poor planning was the second trait that I possessed in ample supply. I was poorly prepared for my wife quitting work after the birth of my first daughter. I was poorly prepared for unexpected health concerns. I was poorly prepared to face those unexpected emergencies that always crop up.
I’m a planner by nature, but when you combine ignorance and poor planning skills, you have a recipe for disaster. Mostly, it was pride that kept me from learning how to plan for the future and budget. We eventually went through [3] Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCCS), who encouraged us to budget for entertainment and eating out, but my pride kept me from listening to their very wise advice.
What’s the solution? Don’t make decisions that will affect your financial picture without examining and planning for a worst case scenario.
Indulgence
The third trait that I allowed to lead me into debt is by far the worst. I call it the “I saw it. I wanted it. I bought it.” syndrome. Money never comes into the picture. A budget never comes into the picture, neither does self discipline, or actual need, or comparative shopping.
Indulgence is like a drug. Once you allow it to control you, you’re in trouble, and usually in debt. It manifests itself in impulse buying and getting into get-rich-quick schemes.
What’s the solution? Realize that stuff is just stuff. Your life is more fulfilled by the [4] things that don’t cost money (or cost very little). Time with your spouse and children. A simple walk in the park or trip to the museum costs nothing, but can be more relaxing than a trip to the mall, and a lot less expensive.
How I changed:
I had gotten into debt so deeply during the early years of our marriage that we were barely surviving. Then my wife got pregnant and quit work to raise our daughter. I didn’t make nearly enough to support our family’s lifestyle, so we continued to use credit to live. I was digging the hole deeper and deeper! When my second daughter came along (surprise!) 12 months later, she required home health care that was uninsured. Then my wife had an uninsured gall bladder surgery.
At one point, I had just been promoted to a store manager position and found myself unable to buy enough gas to drive the 500 miles to my new assignment. My wife was already there so I had her pawn my guitar, a gun, and some of her jewelry so I could buy gas to get to my new store. I never recovered enough to get those items back. I regret that to this day.
I never considered bankruptcy but eventually admitted that I didn’t know what I was doing and sought help through Consumer Credit Counseling. They helped my wife and me get a debt snowball rolling and we attacked it with incredible intensity, paying off everything (except the student loans) 2 years early. That was the only reason I was able to buy a home in the first place.
Most people tend to think that more money will always solve their problems. It won’t, it will only magnify them. If you cannot manage $50,000 per year, what makes you think you can manage $500,000 per year? You’ll just be broke at a different level, unable to put gas into your leased Lexus LS400, rather than your bombed out 1988 Hyundai. You’ll be late on your $8,500 house payment rather than late on your $850 house payment. There’s no real difference, just add a zero.
I began to listen to Dave Ramsey and read a book by Larry Burkett called [5] Debt Free Living. I realized the importance of frugality and stewardship. I’m still learning, but I have come a long way. I still struggle with indulgence and I’m still paying off those insipid student loans.
I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice that says, “You don’t need that.” I’ve had to cultivate that voice and it hasn’t been easy. I also began to think about how my rampant consumerism and willingness to incur debt for trivial things would affect the future of my young family. I think we all want the quick fix to get out of debt, but it never comes quickly. Get used to it.
The good news is I know anyone can change their personality traits for the better and that includes you. I’m in significantly better financial shape today than when I was 10 years ago because I learned:
How debt works against me.
Planning and budgeting skills.
How to ignore my desire to buy buy buy!
You can learn these skills as well. The key for me was finally seeing that I wasn’t going anywhere by getting deeper in debt and the thrill of finally paying off one bill at a time.
From <http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/three-character-traits-that-lead-to-debt/print/
-URLs in this post:[1] here: http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/2008/01/14/should-you-finish-your-degree-online/[2] how to develop the self discipline: http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/2008/01/09/how-to-develop-discipline/[3] Consumer Credit Counseling Services: http://www.cccservices.com/[4] things that don’t cost money : http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/01/15/maximizing-the-free-or-nearly-free-things-that-make-you-feel-good/%22[5] Debt Free Living: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802442323?ie=UTF8&tag=thewisjou-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0802442323[6] debt: http://technorati.com/tag/debt[7] life: http://technorati.com/tag/life[8] relationships: http://technorati.com/tag/relationships[9] money: http://technorati.com/tag/money[10] personal: http://technorati.com/tag/personal[11] finance: http://technorati.com/tag/finance[12] weblog: http://technorati.com/tag/weblog[13] ?: http://alexking.org/projects/wordpress/popularity-contest[14] Sphere: Related Content: http://www.sphere.com/search?q=sphereit:http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/three-character-traits-that-lead-to-debt/
Posted By Ron On January 18, 2008 @ 1:00 am In Debt, Life, Money, Online Degrees, Personal Development 7 Comments
Getting into debt never happens by accident. Everyone has their own reasons, but those reasons are usually just surface symptoms of a deeper character trait. The good news is that you CAN change these character traits. I did.
Ignorance
One trait that lead me into debt was the ignorance of how debt works, and how it works against me. I was the willing victims of credit card issuers. Though I never went into debt with small finance companies or payday loan sharks, I was constantly looking to refinance my home to “pull out the equity.” I didn’t have a good grasp of how my credit was slowly destroyed and how I really wasn’t getting ahead. I believed that by pulling out my home’s equity, I was putting that money to work for me now, even though I was spending it irresponsibly.
I was ignorant on how to resist the marketing efforts of retailers and manufacturers. In college, I was the first to sign up to get a credit card just for the “free” T-shirt. I had been programmed by the marketing media to constantly think I needed to have to have the latest and greatest gizmo, gadget, or toy. I was told, and subsequently believed, that student loans were my only option to get me through school. You can read about my college experience [1] here.
I was ignorant about [2] how to develop the self discipline to resist the desire to constantly acquire stuff. I thought having a new car made me look cool and successful. I used to love getting the letter from my credit card issuer with a raised credit limit. That meant I could get more stuff!
What’s the solution? Education. Learn about how money and personal finance works. Read. Listen. Ask questions. Seek advice. Follow it.
Poor Planning
Poor planning was the second trait that I possessed in ample supply. I was poorly prepared for my wife quitting work after the birth of my first daughter. I was poorly prepared for unexpected health concerns. I was poorly prepared to face those unexpected emergencies that always crop up.
I’m a planner by nature, but when you combine ignorance and poor planning skills, you have a recipe for disaster. Mostly, it was pride that kept me from learning how to plan for the future and budget. We eventually went through [3] Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCCS), who encouraged us to budget for entertainment and eating out, but my pride kept me from listening to their very wise advice.
What’s the solution? Don’t make decisions that will affect your financial picture without examining and planning for a worst case scenario.
Indulgence
The third trait that I allowed to lead me into debt is by far the worst. I call it the “I saw it. I wanted it. I bought it.” syndrome. Money never comes into the picture. A budget never comes into the picture, neither does self discipline, or actual need, or comparative shopping.
Indulgence is like a drug. Once you allow it to control you, you’re in trouble, and usually in debt. It manifests itself in impulse buying and getting into get-rich-quick schemes.
What’s the solution? Realize that stuff is just stuff. Your life is more fulfilled by the [4] things that don’t cost money (or cost very little). Time with your spouse and children. A simple walk in the park or trip to the museum costs nothing, but can be more relaxing than a trip to the mall, and a lot less expensive.
How I changed:
I had gotten into debt so deeply during the early years of our marriage that we were barely surviving. Then my wife got pregnant and quit work to raise our daughter. I didn’t make nearly enough to support our family’s lifestyle, so we continued to use credit to live. I was digging the hole deeper and deeper! When my second daughter came along (surprise!) 12 months later, she required home health care that was uninsured. Then my wife had an uninsured gall bladder surgery.
At one point, I had just been promoted to a store manager position and found myself unable to buy enough gas to drive the 500 miles to my new assignment. My wife was already there so I had her pawn my guitar, a gun, and some of her jewelry so I could buy gas to get to my new store. I never recovered enough to get those items back. I regret that to this day.
I never considered bankruptcy but eventually admitted that I didn’t know what I was doing and sought help through Consumer Credit Counseling. They helped my wife and me get a debt snowball rolling and we attacked it with incredible intensity, paying off everything (except the student loans) 2 years early. That was the only reason I was able to buy a home in the first place.
Most people tend to think that more money will always solve their problems. It won’t, it will only magnify them. If you cannot manage $50,000 per year, what makes you think you can manage $500,000 per year? You’ll just be broke at a different level, unable to put gas into your leased Lexus LS400, rather than your bombed out 1988 Hyundai. You’ll be late on your $8,500 house payment rather than late on your $850 house payment. There’s no real difference, just add a zero.
I began to listen to Dave Ramsey and read a book by Larry Burkett called [5] Debt Free Living. I realized the importance of frugality and stewardship. I’m still learning, but I have come a long way. I still struggle with indulgence and I’m still paying off those insipid student loans.
I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice that says, “You don’t need that.” I’ve had to cultivate that voice and it hasn’t been easy. I also began to think about how my rampant consumerism and willingness to incur debt for trivial things would affect the future of my young family. I think we all want the quick fix to get out of debt, but it never comes quickly. Get used to it.
The good news is I know anyone can change their personality traits for the better and that includes you. I’m in significantly better financial shape today than when I was 10 years ago because I learned:
How debt works against me.
Planning and budgeting skills.
How to ignore my desire to buy buy buy!
You can learn these skills as well. The key for me was finally seeing that I wasn’t going anywhere by getting deeper in debt and the thrill of finally paying off one bill at a time.
From <http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/three-character-traits-that-lead-to-debt/print/
-URLs in this post:[1] here: http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/2008/01/14/should-you-finish-your-degree-online/[2] how to develop the self discipline: http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/2008/01/09/how-to-develop-discipline/[3] Consumer Credit Counseling Services: http://www.cccservices.com/[4] things that don’t cost money : http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/01/15/maximizing-the-free-or-nearly-free-things-that-make-you-feel-good/%22[5] Debt Free Living: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802442323?ie=UTF8&tag=thewisjou-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0802442323[6] debt: http://technorati.com/tag/debt[7] life: http://technorati.com/tag/life[8] relationships: http://technorati.com/tag/relationships[9] money: http://technorati.com/tag/money[10] personal: http://technorati.com/tag/personal[11] finance: http://technorati.com/tag/finance[12] weblog: http://technorati.com/tag/weblog[13] ?: http://alexking.org/projects/wordpress/popularity-contest[14] Sphere: Related Content: http://www.sphere.com/search?q=sphereit:http://www.thewisdomjournal.com/Blog/three-character-traits-that-lead-to-debt/
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